Survival of the Fittest
by Serp
Summary: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco and Lucius are stranded on a desert island. What is to become of them? What odd relationships will be forged? Will friendship fall apart? Please R and R
1. Draco

(Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. All characters belong to JK Rowling, who is awesome.)

Chapter 1: Draco

Draco woke up, but kept his eyes closed. He felt the warm rays of the sun on his face and wondered what the House-Elf was cooking for breakfast. He muttered, 'It had better be something more substantial than toast and jam, at any rate.' The Malfoys had been breakfasting on toast and jam since Draco's second year, when the House Elf was set on fire. It had been odd when Lucius had come home and told them all. Draco had felt almost sad, but only because it meant having to learn how to tie his shoelaces.

He opened his eyes, feeling blissfully at ease, and then found that he was still dreaming. He was on a beach, surrounded by a flawless sky that faded into the indigo sea at the horizon, with the sun burning up above. Behind him was a row of sand dunes and some coconut trees. There were several bodies lying around, too.

Draco walked over to the coconut tree and tapped it with his finger. He looked up at them, shading his eyes from the sun. They didn't look like coconuts. They were green for one thing, and weren't they supposed to look like hairy balls? He almost laughed. And some people thought he didn't have a sense of humour!

His stomach rumbled, and his mind cast back to the thoughts he'd just been having about breakfast. Coconut was better than toast and jam, probably, and fresh food seemed to be all the rage recently. There wasn't much fresher than a coconut that had been on the tree five seconds ago, Draco thought. He reached for his wand, and then realised he didn't have it. He'd had wandless dreams before, although they were usually nightmares in which he was a Muggle or Muggle-born.

Slightly miffed and wishing he would wake up soon, he looked around for something to throw, and saw a small pile of stones just waiting for him. He picked one up and tossed it at the coconuts, his weak arms protested and the stone fell metres short. Seeing as Perseverance was not Draco's second name, he gave up and walked over to one of the bodies. The nearest body turned out to be Ron Weasley. He grinned. Among other things, Malfoys obviously had better life expectancies than Weasleys.

He took the boy's wand and walked back to the tree. 'Diffindo!' It cut a coconut cleanly from the branch. Down, down it fell, until it connected with Draco's head. Draco saw pretty stars and had a split second to be glad he would now wake up before falling over.


	2. Ron

Chapter 2: Ron

Ron groaned. Scabbers was biting his ear, painfully. 'Gerroff, Scabbers!' he said, brushing his ear. Whatever it was was hard and had a lot of legs and pincers. It certainly wasn't Scabbers, at any rate. He nearly screamed. He slapped at it several times, jumping up wildly. The thing fell off and scuttled away into a hole. Ron stood and stared at the hole for a moment, before looking up and taking in his surroundings. 'An island?' he said to himself, absent-mindedly scratching his left buttock, 'How'd we get out here? 'S a nice view, though.' He shaded his eyes and looked out at the horizon. There were a few seagulls flying high above the waves, which rolled gently onto the beach. The crab hole was washed away. Empty spiral shells poked through the sand, and drift wood was sat near the dunes, bleached white by the sun. Straggly strings of seaweed bobbed slowly on the surface of the water. There were a couple of rock pools a little way up the beach, probably filled with all sorts of slimy creatures. Ron had never liked the seaside. It had too many weird animals with too many legs, claws, antennae and pincers.

He turned and looked at the shapes on the sand, and inspected the bodies. There was Harry, who's glasses were slightly askew, Hermione, who was snoring peacefully, Lucius Malfoy who was face-down in sand and also snoring, and Draco Malfoy, who was holding Ron's wand.

Ron grumbled to himself. How dare Malfoy take his wand? He snatched it back and, as an after thought, grabbed the boy's hand and arranged it so it touched Draco's own crotch. He smirked to himself and picked up the coconut lying by Draco's head.

'Thanks, Malfoy,' he said, crouching next to him. He used the wand to crack open the coconut and began to drink the warm milk inside. Once he was full, he poured the rest on Draco's face.

Draco opened his eyes slowly. The sticky milk dripped from his nose. He turned his head towards Ron. 'Oh, what?' he exclaimed, 'I thought I was dreaming about this place!' He moved his hand away from himself, hoping Ron hadn't noticed.

'Nah, sorry,' Ron said, suppressing a grin, 'I think we're stuck. Hermione'll probably get us home.'

'What? I'm stuck on the island with a Weasley and a Mudblood. Please tell me Potter's not here too? I doubt I could bear being in the company of you three for more than half an hour. And give me that!' He snatched the coconut away from Ron and used a stick to dig out the flesh, roughly carving pieces away. He had to pick them up with his fingers to eat them.

'Hey, your Dad's here too. I dunno why. What were you doing before we got here?' Ron asked.

Draco looked awkward, 'I- I was asleep.' In truth, his father had been reading him a bedtime story. Lucius' own father had never read to him, but he knew that it was something all fathers should do for their children, and so had been tucking Draco in every night and reading him Isobella Smarming's 'The Princess's Dream' since Draco was three months old. He just couldn't figure out when to stop.

Ron looked at Draco suspiciously. 'Sleeping. Right.'

Draco rubbed his head. There was a huge lump where the coconut had hit it, and he now had a splitting headache. 'Well, I'm not staying on this island for long. I think I'd rather drink three gallons of sea water than spend a night with you lot.'

Ron magicked a goblet out of thin air, 'Go on, then. I'm sure we'd all love to see you shitting and vomiting at the same time.'

Draco rolled his eyes, 'Very funny, Weasley. You should be on stage.' He stood up, shakily. His head throbbed and his legs felt like jelly. He stumbled over to a large, flat area of sand and bent down. He extended a finger and began to draw carefully into the sand.

'What're you doing, Malfoy?' Ron asked, walking over to him.

'_Don't_ step there!' Draco said, holding out his arm, 'I'm saving our skins.'

Ron scrutinised Draco's work. '"Help!",' he read, 'Fan-tastic. I'm sure with your survival skills will be off'f this place in no time.'


	3. Lucius

Chapter 3: Lucius

_'"...Queen Mummy said, "Then tomorrow you can meet Prince Liam." _

_On Tuesday, Princess Emmie and Prince Liam went to the fairground. They went on the merry-go-round and played Whack-A-Rat, and at the end of the day they went back to the palace. _

_"Well, Princess Emmie, did you like Prince Liam?" said Queen Mummy. "No!" said Princess Emmie, "I did not like Prince Liam. He's too smelly!""' Lucius read to his son, holding up the book to show him the pictures, 'Did you like Prince Liam, Draco?'_

_'Father, please. I'm 16. Can I please just go to sleep?'_

Lucius snored and snorted up some sand. He subsequently coughed as if he was about to die and then brushed the sand from his face and robes. He fixed his hair and picked up his cane, wishing desert islands provided decent mirrors. He frowned. Lucius had rather liked Prince Liam. From the crudely-drawn pictures Liam looked like a handsome young fellow. And he'd taken Princess Emmie to a fairground! Lucius enjoyed merry-go-rounds and Whack-A-Rat, but he felt there should have been at least one mention of candy-floss somewhere.

He spotted Ron and Draco standing some way away. Draco was bent down, apparently drawing something in the sand, and Weasley was no doubt criticising him.

'Good work, Draco,' Lucius said, walking up behind them. 'Don't forget to wave brightly-coloured cloth at any passing ships you spot.'

'Thank you, father,' Draco said, 'Do you not have your wand?'

Lucius searched his pockets and produced his wand, 'Of course, but unfortunately I don't have any way of getting us off the island, seeing as I don't know where we are. I could Splinch myself if I tried to Apparate!'

'But you're a grown-up!' Ron moaned, 'You're supposed to know loads of decent spells!'

'I _do_ know decent spells, Weasley, but they are of no use to us. I can, of course, provide tools we can use, but I am afraid we're quite stuck here until a ship comes by.'

Ron threw his arms up in the air hopelessly, 'Oh excellent. A fat lot of good you did us. When we reach the stage where we're eating each other, you'll be the first person I think of.'

Lucius looked offended, 'Really, Weasley, there's no call for that. Besides, I doubt your father could do better.'

Ron sighed, exasperated, and walked over to Hermione.

'Hermione,' he said shaking her shoulder gently, 'Please wake up. I'm gonna be driven mad by these idiots if you don't wake up soon...'

Lucius was also inspecting the island. 'Driftwood!' he exclaimed, 'I hear that's good for making shelters! And you can probably use leaves to make it waterproof. You simply need a cutting tool.' He held up his wand, 'Check!'

Draco sighed. It was bad enough being on the island with a Mudblood, a Weasley and Potter without having an embarrassing parent along for the ride. He surreptitiously clasped his hands together in prayer that Isobella Smarming's "The Princess Dream" had not made it onto the island too.

Lucius's foot hit something. He picked it up. 'Look, Draco! We can even continue the story!'

Draco gazed witheringly at the heavens. 'I hate you too,' he muttered.


End file.
